Zootopia Short Stories: Clawhauser is on the Case?
by Old Goat
Summary: Someone is breaking into and trashing Zootopia's coffee shops and bakeries. Our favorite flabby feline steps out from behind his desk and investigates. Is there something more sinister going on than just doughnuts and muffins?
1. Muffins are a cop's best friend?

**Zootopia Short Stories: Clawhauser is on the Case!**

 **Someone is breaking into and trashing Zootopia's coffee shops and bakeries. Our favorite flabby feline steps out from behind his desk and investigates. Is there something more sinister going on than just doughnuts and muffins?**

 _I do not own the rights to Zooptopia or any of its characters. This story was written solely for the reader's enjoyment and without any profitable purposes. The story, all names, characters, and incidents portrayed in this story are fictitious._

* * *

 **Chapter 1: Muffins are a cop's best friend?**

"Hamf um frid duf muffms" the red fox in the dark blue police officer's uniform said to the flabby similarly uniformed cheetah sitting behind the desk.

"I'm sorry Nick, but I didn't understand what you just said?" Benjamin Clawhauser chuckled as he leaned over the reception desk and looked down at the fox. "Didn't your mother ever tell you not to talk with your mouth full?"

The fox waved his muffin as he sipped on his coffee. "Sorry Benji! What I said was have you tried the muffins from that new place down the road?" Nick replied. "They are soooo good!"

"You know I'm just a doughnut loving cop," the cheetah replied. "Besides muffins are too cakeish…cakey…if you know what I mean."

Chief Bogo's loud voice echoed from down the hallway, "Wilde, get to work!"

"This is me working Chief," the fox called back. "I'm working Chief, working hard, working my way right out the door!"

* * *

The next morning the tubby cheetah made his normal morning stop at his favorite doughnut shop Susan's Bakery, but it was closed. Looking in the window, he saw the owner standing in the middle of her shop. The stout bobcat was crying into her white baker's apron as she looked around the broken remains of her shop. There was broken glass from the damaged display cases, chairs and tables smashed, and even the cash register was on the floor. Looking up she saw Ben peeking through the window and ran to open the door.

"Oh Benny are you here to investigate the break-in," she wailed as she threw herself into his embrace. "Look what someone did to my shop!"

"I was just on my way to work and stopped to get my usual two dozen donuts," the cheetah replied as he hesitantly hugged the sobbing baker. "I'm sure that Chief Bogo will assign his best officers to the case."

"I don't want his best!" she wailed. "I want you!"

"I haven't worked a case in years," Ben started to say, but then he looked around at the mess and the distraught bobcat. "I'll see what I can do! Just don't touch anything until someone comes back to investigate."

The bobcat nodded and gave him a sad little smile.

As he continued his walk towards the police station, he saw a long line of mammals waiting to get into the new coffee shop across the road. Impatiently standing in the line was a familiar timber wolf in a ZPD t-shirt. Crossing the road he called out to the officer, "Hey, Wolford, is this place really that good? Nick was raving about their muffins yesterday."

"I don't know Ben," the wolf replied. "I usually stop at the Snarlbucks over on the next block, but someone broke into it last night and trashed the place."

"That's odd?" the cheetah replied. "I was just over at Susan's Bakery and someone did the same thing to her store."

"Can I get you anything?" Wolford asked. "I understand they give cops a discount."

"No, I really don't care much for muffins," Ben sighed. "I'm a doughnut loving cop! "

Containing his way to the station, he was puzzled about why someone would break into coffee shops and bakeries just to trash them. Then he thought about how sad Susan was and his promise to help her. By the time her arrived at the station, he had skewed up enough courage to ask Chief Bogo if he could be assigned to the case.

When he arrived, he sucked in his gut and marched with forced determination to the Chief's door and knocked. The cape buffalo looked up from the files he was reading, "What do you want Clawhauser, I'm busy so make it snappy!" he grumbled.

The flabby cheetah drew a breath and said, "Iwanttoinvestigatethebreakinatsusansbarkery".

The buffalo looked up at the now huffing and wheezing cat as he took off his reading glasses and asked, "Did you just ask to be assigned to a case? I thought you like working the desk?"

"I do Chief," Ben wheezed. "It's just Susan is a friend and asked me to help with the investigation."

Bogo looked at the cheetah and then at the file in his hoof, "Let me think about it, I'll have to find someone who can handle your job."

* * *

"Atemphfumf" Corporal Higgins choked out as Chief Bogo entered the Bullpen. The hippo coughed as he tried to swallow the remnants of the large muffin he just finished.

The buffalo was used to howls, roars, and cheers as he entered the room, but this morning all he heard was munching. His eyes narrowed as he looked over at McHorn, the large rhino's face was banged up as if he had hit a brick wall horn first. Wilde was sitting in his usual place next to Hopps and he was unusually silent because he was eating a muffin. Bogo sighed when he saw the fox's arm had a large bandage across it. As he continued looking around the room, he snorted when he saw most of the other officers were also eating muffins. "This is not the break room!" he bellowed. "Put those away."

The officers looked around their tables, but there was nowhere to put their muffins. "The trash!" Bogo yelled. "Throw them IN THE TRASH!"

Wolford gave a little whine as he tossed his muffin into the trash, Fangmeyer choked on his when the big tiger tried to stuff the remainder of his half eaten muffin into his mouth, but the sadist of all the officers was the fox. Nick's ears lay flat on top of his head and his tail was tucked under his legs as he made his way towards the trash and he whimpered as he dropped the muffin into the garbage.

"Wilde, sit down!" Bogo snapped. "NOW!" The fox quickly scurried back to the seat he shared with Judy. The rabbit looked over at her partner and rolled her eyes.

"Today's assignments are…" the buffalo began, but Nick was not paying the least amount of attention to what was being said as he stared forlornly at the trash bin. He was startled when his partner hopped down and walked to get her file. Slipping off the chair, he began to follow her out the door.

"And where do you think you're going Officer Wilde?" Chief Bogo asked. He was using the sweetest voice as he could muster. When the fox pointed towards his partner, the buffalo shook his head. "No, that case is for Hopps and Clawhauser. I've got another job for you to do today."

"Let me guess," Nick grumbled as his ears drooped. "Parking ticket duty, again?"

"Nooo!" Chief Bogo replied, trying not to laugh. "Someone has to do Clawhauser's job today and that's you!"

The rabbit in the hallway laughed as the fox looked up at the buffalo in surprise. "What no sarcastic or snide comment this morning?" Chief Bogo sweetly asked.

"I've got nothing," the fox answered as he dejectedly walked towards the still laughing rabbit.

"You've been grounded Slick," Judy snickered.

The fox sighed and shook his head. "Remember what you told me had happened after the press conference last year?" he asked her.

"That they reassigned Ben to records," she replied. "Because they didn't want a predator to be the first thing someone sees when they entered the building, so what? Ben is back at the desk."

"What do you think those mammals will think when they see a fox?" Nick sighed.

Judy stopped and her ears drooped, then she said in a cheery voice, "Well then you'll just have to show them that you're the best fox receptionist in the ZPD!"

"Carrots, I'm the only fox in the ZPD," he replied.

* * *

"So this button controls the PA system," the cheetah said. To the fox, it seemed like the big cat was droning on and on about the job. How hard could it really be? "Are you paying attention?" Ben asked.

"Yeah if phone rings, answer it!" Nick replied as he climbed onto the large chair and gave it a whirl. "Now, you two go and make the world a better place one doughnut at a time!"

The cheetah momentarily gave the fox a skeptical look, before the rabbit gripped the cat's paw and pulled at him. "Come on Ben, we have a case to solve" she excitedly exclaimed.

Nick watched the bunny try to drag the oversized cheetah out the door and then looked back at the Bullpen. He was thinking of sneaking back into the room and digging his muffin out of the trash, it tasted so good and he didn't even get to work the word puzzle that was printed on wrapper. The one he did last night was a tough one…at least he thought it was? He whimpered as he saw one the of the cleaning crew exit with the trash bin, the raccoon was furtively looking around as he left the room. Before Nick could ask if everything was okay, the phone rang. Pushing the button he answered, "This is the police. It's your quarter so spill it!" But all he heard was just a dial tone and the phone kept ringing. Desperately he began pushing buttons, but the ringing continued.

Stopping outside the door Clawhauser looked back at the police station. "Do you think he can handle things?" he asked Judy.

The bunny smiled up at him and gaily said, "Nick's a lot smarter then he looks!" Then the uniformed rabbit once again began trying to drag the big cat down the sidewalk. "Come on we've got to get going!"


	2. Hey, What Could Go Wrong?

**Chapter 2: Hey, What Could Go Wrong?**

* * *

For Ben Clawhauser, Susan's Bakery has always been a haven in his life, it was a shop full of fragrant delectable baked goods and the cheetah was very partial to her donuts. Today was almost as traumatic to him as it was to the owner as he followed Judy into the building, because there were no piles of succulent apple turnovers baking, no doughnuts with red and white icing or sprinklings of candies on display and the wafting scent of baking bread was missing. It was to the cheetah almost as disastrous as the carnage around him.

"Ben!" the portly bobcat cried out as she ran into his arms and the cheetah felt his ears reddened from embarrassment, but when he looked down at the rabbit she was busy with looking around.

"Excuse me ma'am, I'm Officer Hopps with the ZPD," she announced with a professional, but perky voice as she pulled out her black notepad and orange carrot shaped pen. "We need to take a statement from you about the break-in."

"Well, I came to work early this morning," Susan began to say.

"At what time did you arrive?" Judy snapped.

"Around four this morning, I have to get in early to start baking for the mornings rush," The bobcat replied. "And I found this!"

"Huh!" Judy grunted. "Did you come in the front door or the back door? I don't see an alarm box up front."

"I entered by the backdoor, but it was open," Susan answered with a sniffle. "I know I locked it last night, I always double check the door."

"Did the alarm go off?" the rabbit ask with a confused look on her face. "Did you get a call earlier from the alarm company?"

"I don't have an alarm anymore," the bobcat began to whimper. "Things are tight and I had to cut back,"

"You don't have a burglar alarm?" the rabbit asked with an incredulous voice. "How can you not have an alarm?"

"There are bills to pay…and I didn't have money…didn't have…" Susan answered as she sobbed. "I'm so sorry!"

"There, there," Ben said as he placed his arm on the bobcat's shoulder. "Let's sit over at that table and you can tell me what happened."

Susan cried as she sat down at the table.

"Officer Clawhauser, may I see you in the Kitchen?" Judy briskly asked, she suddenly looked very agitated. Her nose was rapidly twitching with very apparent frustration. Ben followed her into the backroom. "I was still interrogating that witness!"

"You were upsetting her more than she was before," the cheetah sighed. "Let me talk to her, you're getting over excited again."

"What do you mean by that?" she asked, her ears had flopped behind her head.

"It's just that sometimes you get too professional and it rubs some folks the wrong way," he grimaced as he answered. "That's why you and Nick work together so well, his nonchalant attitude balances your enthusiasm. You know, like the old good cop and bad cop routine."

"You mean I'm like a bad cop?" she replied with tears welling up in her eyes.

"No, you just get a little brisk in your mannerisms," the cheetah answered. "Are you telling me that you've never noticed that sometimes you'd ask a question and that person would answer to Nick instead?"

"No!" she huffed and crossed her arms together. Her right foot began thumping the floor in agitation. "Nick has never said anything about that to me."

"I guess it's become second nature to him and he doesn't even notice when it happens anymore," the cat sighed. "Now don't get all emotional on me. I'll interview Susan and you go check the door." She up at him and still was looking upset. "Judy you're a good cop, so go do what you do best and let's solve this crime."

After he watched the rabbit hop off towards the backdoor and as he turned to go back into the front room, he noticed something. "Ewww! It looks like someone cut himself!"

Judy looked back at the flabby cat and asked, "What did you just say?"

"Someone cut themselves on this broken glass, there's blood and fur!" he replied.

The rabbit ran over to the smashed display case and pulled on a pair of plastic gloves before she took out a small pair of tweezers. "It looks like reddish orange fur," she mused as she picked the strands and put them in a plastic evidence bag. "What kind of mammal has that colored fur?"

* * *

Back at the station, the now frazzled fox finally hit the right button and answered the incoming phone call, "Hello?"

"Who is this!" a gruff voice snarled.

"The police station," Nick sarcastically replied. "Don't tell you were trying to call…"

"Wilde is that you!" the voice cut him off, much to his displeasure.

"Captain Huntersnout, it's a pleasure to hear your friendly barking today," the fox snickered.

"Where's Clawhauser?" the wolf snarled. "And why are you answering the phone instead of doing parking duty or something you're capable of doing fox?"

"Benji's on a case," the fox replied. "So Bogo stuck me at the reception desk."

"Is he crazy?" the commander of the K-9 Unit laughed. It was a deep laugh, almost as if he was told a funny joke. "He put a fox up front!"

"Hey what's so funny?" Nick snapped back. "That's no way to treat a fellow member of the canid family, we're practically cousins."

"No you're a fox and I'm a wolf," the captain chuckled. "We wolves have class and integrity."

"Just keep telling yourself that chompers," Nick dryly replied. "I beat you can't even spell integrity."

"I can and its spelled N.O.T.A.F.O.X," the wolf replied.

"Hey, that wasn't funny," Nick tried to protest, but he was laughing too much. "So why does the head sniffer want a cat for?"

There was a brief silence, followed by a sigh, before the reply came, "In the top desk drawer there's a set of numbers, read them to me."

Nick rummaged through the desk drawer until he found a yellow posted note. "You mean the one that says Captain Huntersnout's locker combo?" he asked.

"Yes, just give me the numbers and if I hear anymore backtalk, I'll ask Bogo to assign you to the K-9 Unit next time we have to search a sewer," the wolf grumbled.

Nick read him the numbers. "As always, it's a pleasure to talk with you Captain," the fox snickered.

"Hey Wilde," the wolf replied. "I was just teasing earlier. You're a good cop and if you ever decide to transfer into the K-9 Unit, let me know first."

"Aw, are you asking me to join your team?" Nick replied.

"Nope, I just want to know ahead of time so I can retire!" the Captain laughed and hung up.

Nick grinned as he leaned back into the chair and gave it a twirl, "This job is a piece of cake!"

Officer Snarloff ambled by the desk. "How's it going Wilde?"

"Couldn't be better Snowball, this sly fox has got everything under control!" the fox boasted.

"You missed a few calls," the polar bear said as he pointed to the red light on the phone.

"Maybe just a couple?" Nick answered as he frowned at the phone. Pressing the button, the machine announced, "You have sixteen messages."

The fox's ears drooped as he stared at the phone with a very disgruntled, very frustrated fox look.

"Oh and don't forget that this afternoon there's a bus load of kits coming for a tour," Snarloff added with a toothy grin.

"A school tour?" Nick asked.

"Nope, about thirty or so Junior Ranger Scouts," the bear replied. "With Ben out today, that makes you their tour guide."

The fox stared up at the bear with his muzzle open in a look of dread shock. Just then the phone began ringing…again.

"You've got a phone call," the bear chuckled before he ambled away.

The fox gave out a little whine before he started pressing buttons…again.


	3. Hey, What Else Can Go Wrong?

**Chapter 3: Hey, What Else Can Go Wrong?**

* * *

The red fox at the reception desk smiled with satisfaction as he finished making his last return call, it helped that a dozen of the missed calls were from the same beaver calling over and over again, just to ask how many scoops of sugar Ben puts in his nut bread recipe. When he looked up, Nick knew he was going to be in trouble as he watched the frowning porcupine angrily approached the desk.

"I want to see a police officer," she snapped at him. "I've been robbed!"

"How can I help you?" Nick politely asked her, but he already knew how this was going to go.

"I want a REAL police officer, not you!" she huffed.

"I am a real cop," he replied as he stood up and giving her a smirk, he tapped his badge with a claw. "See I've got the badge and fancy blue uniform to prove it."

"I don't care, I want a real police officer and not a FOX!" she yelled. "NOW!"

Officer McHorn was returning from patrol and wearily began crossing the lobby. "You get over here now!" she yelled at the rhino when she saw him. "I want to report a crime!"

After the rhino walked up to the porcupine, he looked down and asked, "Did you report it to Officer Wilde?"

"I said that I want to report this to a real police officer, not a fox!" she snapped at him. "Are you going to help me or not!"

"Oookay!" the rhino sighed, he looked over at the fox behind the desk and wanted to chuckle when he saw that Nick was sticking his tongue out at the lady like a petulant little pup. "Tell me what happened."

"I was sitting on a bench just down the street and when I was ready to leave I noticed my purse was gone," she dramatically said. "It was probably stolen by a fox!"

"Did you see a fox anywhere near you?" the rhino asked.

"No I did not, but they're sneaky," she replied. Then looking back a Nick, she held a paw to her snout and quietly said to the rhino, "And they're sly too."

McHorn looked back at Wilde, who how now held up a piece of paper on which he had scrawled the words _Sneaky Fox._ Nick was grinning as he began pointing towards himself.

"Yes ma'am," the rhino tried not to snicker. "Can you please describe your purse?"

"I'll bet its brown with a green handle," Nick interjected as he propped his muzzle between his paws and lazily grinned.

The porcupine angrily turned and asked, "How did you know fox, did you steal my purse? I wouldn't put it past your kind!"

"No ma'am, he did not," the rhino answered. "It's stuck in your quills." Reaching down, he carefully removed the impaled purse and handed it to her. "Here you go ma'am."

"Why thank you officer," she said to the rhino and without even acknowledging Nick's presence, she swayed her way towards the door.

Watching the cantankerous porcupine as she left, the rhino looked over at the fox and asked, "Does that happen a lot?"

"All the time" Nick shrugged. "One time Judy and I were responding to a fender bender and neither party believed we were cops. One of the drivers even called the station to say that a fox and a rabbit were dressed as cops and trying to scam him."

"Huh, you'd at least think they'd know Hopps after the Missing Mammals press conference last year and that face of the ZPD campaign?" McHorn replied.

"I think she's better known by the predators we meet," Nick sighed. The rhino could see that there was hurt in the fox's eyes, but only briefly before the smirk returned. "They remember that press conference better than others and some of the things they've called her would make your horn curl."

"Well, it sucks being you!" McHorn shrugged as he walked away.

"Poetic," the fox quietly chuckled. "Thanks for the support and understanding big guy."

Then the phone rang…again.

* * *

Over at Susan's Bakery, Judy was in full detective mode as she explained what had happened to Ben. "The perpetrator picked the back door's lock, probably with steel picks. Look closely and you can see the scratches on the lock. Once he entered the kitchen, he swiped everything onto the floor. That means the criminal must have been around four feet in height. After breaking everything he could, he went into the front room."

She almost danced in her enthusiasm into the room. "Here the perpetrator took the cash register and after removing the cash, threw it into the display counter," she said.

"I wasn't robbed," the bobcat interjected. "The money is still in the cash register, they didn't take anything."

"That doesn't make any sense," the rabbit asked in frustration. "Why break into a place and not rob it? Has anyone threatened you?"

"No," the portly bobcat shrugged. She had her paws tightly clasping Ben's arm.

"The mafia didn't shake you down as part of a protection racket?" Judy inquired. "They do that in some places."

"No," Susan shook her head.

"Did you have any suspicious characters come into the store during the week?" Ben asked.

"Just a fox," she answered, looking up at him with what Judy felt was with adoring eyes. "Oh wait, he was a police officer and was buying a spiced carrot cupcake because he said he lost a bet."

The rabbit's ears drooped and she frowned as she began tapping her right paw in agitation. "Nick told me he made that just for me," she snapped. "Wait until I get my paws on that liar!"

Susan looked at Ben in confusion and the cheetah smiled before explaining, "Nick's is her usual partner and he has a tendency to exaggerate."

"He did pipe the smiley face icing onto the top of the cupcake," the bobcat volunteered. "So I guess he did help make it?"

"I suppose, but he's still in trouble," Judy grumbled. "So outside of a lying, no good fox…"

"What Judy means, is there anyone else who was unusual?" Ben cut in.

"No not really, just the usual folks who come in all the time. Oh, there was Phil from the new store down the street. He's with the guys who opened the new place that sells muffins," she replied. "Those raccoons are cutting into my business big time by offering their muffins at half the price."

"So we have a red furred perpetrator, who must stand around four feet tall and knows how to pick a lock. So he or she is experienced in burglary, but for some reason only trashed the place and left without taking anything?" Judy summarized the case. "Not much to go on!"

"Maybe once we check out the Snarlbucks, we'll have a better idea?" Ben sighed. "Someone trashed their store too!"

"We do have fur and blood samples for the lab to run," Judy said with growing enthusiasm. "I've photographed the damage and plotted it out, so you can start cleaning up now."

"That's it?" the bobcat asked. "But, we don't know who did it yet?"

"The investigation has just begun!" the rabbit said as she waved her paw. "We'll catch the crook, don't worry."

After saying good bye, Judy and Ben began walking towards the Snarlbucks, "I'm worried," Judy said to the cheetah. "We don't have much to go on besides the fur and blood."

"What kind of animal do you think did it?" Ben asked. "You think it was a red fox?"

"There is a red panda who has been seen vandalizing the downtown with graffiti," the rabbit offered. "Johnson caught a maned wolf shoplifting not far from here, it could have been her."

"Poor Susan," Ben sighed.

"Hey Ben, when your investigating a case, you have to suspect everyone and question everything," the rabbit meekly added. He ears had drooped to the back of her head again and her nose was twitching. "Susan was really insistent that you work this case and she was also really clingy to you when we were there."

"We're friends," the cheetah answered.

It was apparent to Judy that Ben was oblivious to the way Susan was acting around him. "Ben," she sighed. "We have to consider that she may have staged the crime just to get your attention."

"Judy!" the cheetah yelled. "OH MY GOODNESS! That's a terrible thing to think, Susan would never do that!"

"Ben, it's been known to happen before," Judy added. "Everyone is a suspect at this stage of the investigation. Susan also said her business was slow and she had to cut costs, so there is always the possibility it was done for the insurance money."

Ben sighed and sadly looked away. "I know, but I still don't believe it was Susan."

"Lunch?" Judy asked in a hopeful voice. "We might be able to think better after we eat."

The cheetah looked down at her and sadly nodded. "Yeah, after we eat," he sighed. "Let's eat at the pizzeria down the street. I'm too worried to eat, so maybe I'll only get two twelve inch anchovy and mushroom pizzas this time."


	4. Hey, It Does Go Wrong!

**Chapter 4: Hey, It Does Go Wrong!**

Judy watched in fascination as the portly cheetah finished his second pizza and an order of fish sticks. Looking down at her half eaten salad, she shoved the remainder towards her temporary partner who smiled and began munching on the greens. Seeing the way she was looking at him, he mumbled through a mouth full of salad, "What?"

"I didn't think you were hungry?" she asked.

"I'm really not," Ben replied. "Stress makes me want to eat."

"Well finish up, we need to get over to the Snarlbucks," the rabbit impatiently replied.

They arrived at the coffee bistro, unlike Susan's Bakery the store was modern and sleek looking with silvery chrome and glossy black. Also the store gave off only the scent of coffee and not the aroma of baked goodies.

"It's about time you got here!" a slim ibex in a stylish pair of black slacks and a black sport shirt snapped as he opened the door. "I'm the manager and I've got a store to reopen, you're putting me behind schedule."

Judy looked up at him and began to introduce themselves, "I'm Officer Hopps and this is…" she began, but was immediately cut off by the scowling manager.

"They didn't have any real cops they could spare?" he huffed. "A fat cat and a cute bunny, this is what my taxes get me? Look honey, he came through the back door and trashed the place. He didn't even touch the safe, but only turned my coffee makers and expresso machine into pretzels."

"What about your backroom, your ovens?" Ben asked.

The ibex gave a haughty disgusted look at the overweight cheetah. "We don't have any ovens," he snorted.

"But you serve bagels, muffins, scones and other baked items?" Judy asked. She was beginning to work herself into that overbearing professional attitude again, but Ben didn't want to stop her this time. This jerk was about to get the full 'bad cop' treatment.

"We don't cook here!" the manager scoffed. "All that stuff is delivered in the early morning and we slap it in the microwave when ordered to heat it up."

Judy had an aggravated look as she pulled out the camera and began taking photographs. "You said he came through the backdoor? How do you know it was just one mammal?"

"Yeah, he smashed the backdoor off its hinges and began toss everything around," the ibex replied. "A huge rhino, but the weird thing is he was still in his pajamas!"

"You've got video?" Ben asked.

"Inside and outside," the manager boasted. "You don't think I'd trust those lunkheads I hired to run things without being watched?"

"I thought your CEO was big into personal development and team dynamics?" the cheetah inquired. He looked over at Judy and her left foot was beginning to thump in frustration.

"He's on the West Coast, this is Zootopia and things are different in the REAL world," replied the ibex. "You think I can find competent workers on what we pay? Living wages, what a crock! These are entry level jobs. You can't make a living as an employee here, you just make the coffee and collect the money. Oh, and smile too! That's what I pay them to do."

"No wonder Nick always over tips," the rabbit whispered to the cheetah.

Ben fought to keep from laughing as he asked, "May we see the door?"

"It's in the trash out back," the ibex replied. "I had it replaced, I couldn't wait all day!"

"You weren't supposed to touch anything until we investigated," the rabbit yelled.

The manager just shrugged, "You should have been here earlier."

"This is an ongoing investigation," Judy snapped at him in anger. "You've tampered with evidence, polluted the crime scene."

"I'm running a business, not a training school for wantabe detectives," the ibex yelled back.

"Ahem, my I help you?" a portly warthog in a dark blue pantsuit and pink blouse asked as she entered the backroom. "I'm Prissy Wallow, the District Loss Prevention Officer. I was expecting a detective, not some street officers…you are cops?"

Ben put his paw on the rabbits' shoulder, holding her in place. He was afraid that Judy was going to put her hindpaw up the side of the sow's snout.

"Of course, all my stores have the latest security systems," she boasted with a smile.

"And yet he got in anyways," the rabbit snapped at her. "How long did it take for your security team to respond?"

"Thirty minutes," the now embarrassed sow replied. "They said they hit traffic."

"Traffic in the middle of the night?" Judy sarcastically asked.

"Big town," the warthog shrugged. "The guy was gone by the time they got here."

"Why didn't you call the police?" Judy replied. "Our police station is only one street away from here."

"We didn't want to pay for another false alarm," the Loss Prevention Officer answered.

"And your security cameras aren't monitored?" Judy pressed. "Doesn't seem like state of the art to me!"

"Look bunny, you do your job and I'll do mine," the sow angrily snapped.

"Thank you," Ben chimed in before Judy could respond. "May we please have a copy of the video?"

"Ah sure," she replied with a fake smile as she walked into the store's office.

"Calm yourself!" Ben hissed to Judy.

"A glorified mall cop trying to tell me how to do my job," the rabbit murmured. "Compromising the crime scene, who do they think they are?"

* * *

"Hey Wilde," the elephant called over to the fox sitting at the desk as she entered the building.

The fox gave the elephant a lazy salute, "Francine, how's the trunk hanging?"

"So, so Red," she chuckled. "Did you hear we got ourselves a bank robber?"

"Yeah, that's why I was late relieving you for lunch," a portly bobcat added as she entered the lobby from the back of the building. "I was booking her in downstairs."

"That's okay, Catrina," Nick replied. "Seeing your smiling face is worth waiting for."

"Oh, trying that foxy charm on me," the bobcat laughed. "Does that nonsense work on Hopps?"

"Hey Cat, is it true the zebra that Johnson and Wolford picked up can't remember robbing her own bank?" Francine asked.

"Nope, she says she doesn't remember anything about today after she took her morning break and until after they busted her," the bobcat answered. "They didn't find her purse with the cash either."

"Johnson said she just walked to her drawer and emptied all the cash into her purse and calmly walked out the bank's door," the elephant added. "He said she was in a daze when they caught her, almost like she was sleep walking."

"They caught her six blocks away from the bank without the cash," Catrina said. "Over twenty years working for the bank, outstanding employee too."

"Maybe she just gave into the temptation of seeing all that cash," the fox shrugged as he climbed off the chair.

"Could be," the bobcat replied as she took his place behind the desk. "How'd you cut yourself?"

"I don't remember," Nick answered. "I awoke this morning with the gash and bleeding, I must have scratched myself somehow while I slept."

"You're weird," the cat laughed.

"I'll be backkk!" he added in his best Terminator voice impression as he swaggered away.

"You've got to stop watching that movie marathon!" Francine scoffed. "Robots from the future that look like bulls!"

"Best movies ever!" the fox laughed as he walked across the lobby towards the break room.

A few minutes later, he frowned as he stood in front of the vending machines because he didn't have enough time to go out for a meal. Since he and Judy were usually on patrol, they didn't pack a lunch, but would eat at a small diner or a fast food restaurant. With a sigh, he selected a cricket crunch bar and oddly for him, a bag of carrots. He had lately grown partial to the vegetable, but didn't know why. Maybe it was because he would playfully swipe a few from Judy's plate when they were eating just to tease her.

Grabbing a bottle of water, he sat down at a table and looked around the empty room. For most of his life, he relished solitude. Foxes were always naturally loners, but he didn't have his usual company. He was missing the sound of the bunny's voice as she would tell him about her family's latest gossip or talk about work. He shook his head and chuckled as he thought to himself, _getting soft Wilde!_

"Gahhh!" he yelped as he bit into the cricket crunch bar, it was bitter and dry. Spitting out the crumbs, he looked at the package and frowned when he read the expiration date was two years ago! Clawing open the small packet of carrots, he began to munch on the orange vegetables with a lack of enthusiasm. Maybe after work he would treat himself to a muffin from that new coffee house? He was still agrivated he had to throw the one he had away this morning.

"So how's it wagging sport?" Wolfard asked as he entered the room and after digging into the freezer, stuffed a frozen turkey dinner into the microwave. "Carrots for lunch? That seems fitting for you."

"Why's that sniffer?" the fox replied with a grin.

"Hey pal no disrespect, but you call Hopps by the name 'Carrots' all the time," the timber wolf replied as he dropped coins into the juice machine. "It's just funny to see you eating carrots when she isn't around to make you."

"She doesn't make me eat carrots, I happen to like them," Nick replied in an annoyed voice. "I like carrots…the food…not the rabbit. You know what I mean!"

The grinning wolf pulled his meal from the microwave and set it on the table. After peeling back the cover, they both stared at the measly slice of turkey, a blob of mashed potatoes, and a scrawny looking carrot. "Who makes these things?" the wolf asked as his nose wrinkled from the smell.

Picking up the box, Nick turned it over and read the label. "Hungry Maw, Judy warned me about this brand," the fox replied. "She once bought their Carrots for One frozen meal."

"Can you spare a carrot or two?" Wolfard asked as he shoved the box aside. Then standing, he walked over to the vending machine and dug around in his wallet for some cash. "Not much of a choice for carnivores?"

"Don't buy the cricket crunch bar, they expired years ago," the fox warned him.

"Canned sardines and tuna are gone. Fang must have been here earlier," the wolf grunted. "He said he left his lunch. So that leaves the carrots, alfalfa pellets, dried seaweed snacks, wheat rollups, and dried soybeans." There was a whirl and a thunk before the wolf sat down and opened his packet of carrots.

"Good things we're omnivores," Nick chuckled.

Catrina's voice blared over the intercom, "Officer Wilde, please report to the reception desk. Your tour group is here!"

The fox groaned.


	5. Wait For It!

**Chapter 5: Wait For It!**

Nick grumbled as he left the break room and made his way towards the lobby. "I hope they aren't a bunch of zebras, woodchucks, hippos, and mules," he muttered. "As hungry as I am, I might eat one." His ears laid flat onto of his head and his tail dragged the hallway as thoughts about his being bullied that night so long ago resurfaced in his mind. He could almost feel the cold metal of the muzzle as the bullies strapped it on and he winced. The feelings of disappointment, shame, and anger began to well up inside him again. Judy understood the trauma he still felt, he never told anyone else before about that night. Trusting anyone had been an issue for him until she came into his life. Even Finn, his onetime business partner and friend, who found him sobbing in the alley that night never really understood that he felt, but Judy did and he trusts her.

As he walked into the lobby, he looked around in confusion because there wasn't a single Junior Ranger Scout to be seen. "Hey Cat, where are the scouts?" he asked.

"They're just now getting out of the bus," she answered with a huge grin on her muzzle.

"Okay, you look like the proverbial cat who just ate the canary!" the fox quipped as he stepped to the window and looked outside. Catrina began to laugh, not softly, but hardily at the look the fox gave her after he saw the group. "You've got to be kidding me," the fox yelped. "They're all sloths!"

"Eeeup!" the cat laughed. "Sorry Nick, that was by best Judy impersonation!"

"Needs work," the fox replied. "Is it too late to call in sick today?"

"Eeeup!" the cat snickered.

"That was even worse than the last try," Nick laughed. "Carrots says it more like, Eeuuup!"

" Wilde!" a gruff voice yelled down the hallway. "Get to work!"

"I am working Chief!" the fox yelled back down the hallway. "I have a bunch of scouts coming in to take a tour."

"Make it snappy," the cape buffalo yelled.

"That's probably not going to happen!" Nick yelled back. "They're all sloths."

The answer to the fox's replay was a deep hardy laugh.

"That's what I thought," he mumbled to himself. "Hey, Cat how come when you're up here the phone rarely rings, but when I was up here it was ringing off the hook?"

"Timing fox," she laughed as she leaned back and continued reading her magazine.

Nick wanted to laugh, because the phones began ringing …again."

As she was talking on the phone, he picked up her magazine and looked at the article she had been reading. "How to attract a mate!" he snickered. "Gee Cat, I didn't know you were that desperate?"

The cat hissed and threw her pencil at the fox. "It was that magazine or one of Ben's tabloids about Gazelle," she answered. "I'm happily married."

About then the first sloth reached the door and Nick patiently waited, leaning against the counter with a smirk as he continued waiting another twenty minutes before the last of the thirty scouts and their leaders had finally gathered near him.

"Good afternoon Scouts and welcome to the police department," Nick began.

"Good…after…noon…" a leader began to reply.

"I'm officer…" the fox continued.

"…Officer," the sloth finished.

Nick hesitated before continuing, "I'm Officer Wilde and I'll be your tour guide."

"It…is…nice…to…meet…you…" the leader began again.

The fox waited.

"Officer…"

The fox waited, casting a glare at the snickering bobcat behind the reception desk as she looked up from her magazine.

"Wilde…"

"Okay, let's go into the auditorium and watch a short film about your Zootopia Police Department," the fox said with as much enthusiasm as he could muster. He slowly…very slowly…led the group to the auditorium and waited until they finally all sat down. He picked up a disk and put it into the projector, selecting the sloth mode. A warning flashed: _Notice this is a fifteen minute video. You have selected sloth speed which will take one hour to run, please confirm mode._ Sighing, he selected the sloth mode and sat down in a chair.

"Officer…Wilde…" a voice said, waking him from his dream. Looking up, he saw the scouts had gathered around him. _It was a pleasant dream too,_ he thought. _I was rich and cruising on my yacht, with all kinds of vixens in bathing suits and Judy in a tiny…wait… Judy?"_

He sat up quickly and shook his head. "We're finished with the film?" he said in manner which was more like a question then a statement, but before anyone could answer, he added. "Let go back to the offices and you can see where the officers do their paperwork and then downstairs to booking."

Standing he tried to smile as the scouts slowly…very slowly…followed him out the door.

* * *

The rabbit hopped from one paw to another as she waited for the overweight Cheetah to catch up to her. "Huff…huff…wheeze…wait up Judy!" Benjamin Clawhauser whined to Judy.

Judy Hopps looked aggravated as she stared up at the larger cat. "Who do they think they are!" she snapped. "Where are the detectives, are you really cops! I should have run them in for tampering with evidence!"

"I don't think the Chief…wheeze…gasp…would be too happy with you if you did that," Ben finally hacked out.

The answer that the cheetah got was an impatient and rapid tapping of the rabbit's right hindpaw.

"Okay, now what do we do?" the cheetah finally hacked out.

"Let's go back to the station and give the samples to the lab and then we can look at the video," the rabbit replied. She was thoughtfully looking back at the bistro. "It still isn't making any sense, why break in and not steal anything."

Ben just gave her one of his goofy smiles and shrugged his shoulders. "Don't know, why?"

"Come on let's get back!" Judy exclaimed as she took off down the sidewalk.

"That bunny's going to be the end of me yet!" the fat cat sighed.

When they go back to the station, they found Catrina at the phones. "Hey, where's Nick?" Ben asked.

"Scouts are here for their tour," the bobcat chuckled. "You know the sloths."

Judy's ears dropped and then perked back up as she smiled. "Fitting punishment for Nick, he once conned me into going to run a plate at the Department of Motor Vehicles."

"The DMV in downtown?" the fat cat laughed. "Everyone knows to avoid that branch office, the staff is all sloths! I go to the Meadowlands or over to Sahara Square."

"I didn't know any better and it took all afternoon for his pal Flash to run the plate," the rabbit sighed.

"Well he's going to be a long while, they just left the auditorium and then some of the scouts had to use the bathroom," Officer Catrina laughed.

"Come on Ben, this I have to see," Judy said with a sinisterly cute chuckle as she hopped towards the hallway.

He could hear her laughter and rushed to join her. Before them was the fox propped up against the wall waiting for the sloths to come back from the bathroom. He had nodded off and was impressively still standing as he snored. A large shadow loomed over them and Clawhauser looked behind him to see Chief Bogo standing there.

"Wilde, get to work!" the bull bellowed with a slight grin on his snout.

The fox's ears shot up straight and his tail ruffled as he was startled awake with a gasp. He had involuntarily jumped at the bovine's loud shout and tripped over his own paws as he landed, falling muzzle first onto the hallway floor. His eyes narrowed as he looked up at the laughing rabbit and the larger cape buffalo towering above her.

Lifting his paw into the air, he replied, "I am working boss. It's just they're sloths, so I'm working slowly…very slowly"

The rabbit began laughing harder until the voice behind her added, "And Officer Hopps, why aren't you working on those cases I gave you and Officer Clawhauser to solve?"

The rabbit grimaced as she looked up at Chief Bogo. "We just got back and we're on our way to the lab, sir!" she answered with a salute.

"Well then, you're going the wrong way," the buffalo replied as he pointed the other direction.

Watching the cheetah follow the rabbit as they scurried away, Chief Bogo looked back towards the fox, who was still sprawled out on the floor. "Get up Wilde, we pride ourselves in our professionalism here at the ZPD and the sight of a lazy fox napping in the hallway does not meet those standards."

"Righhht!" the fox replied as he crawled back to his hindpaws. "I seem to remember a certain Chief having too much at the bar and…" he began.

"Dismissed!" the large buffalo barked out as he turned as he retreated down the hallway to his office, leaving a smirking red fox leaning on the wall again.

"That works every time," the fox chuckled to himself as he adjusted his tie and waited for the sloths to return.


	6. Just Can't Wait!

**Chapter 6: Just Can't Wait!**

 **Sorry about the delay on this story, I ran into a bit of a writer's block on the plot's direction. But here's another chapter! We last left our intrepid wanna be detectives returning to the station with their evidence, while the poor suffering fox is giving a group of scouts a very slow tour.**

* * *

"What do you mean you can't run me a DNA test on the blood?" Judy gasped at the elk dressed in a white lab coat. As she looked up at the much larger mammal, her right hindpaw began rapidly tapping in fustration.

Tap...tap...tap...

"Look Officer Hopps, the lab is backlogged for several weeks. We give priority to the more important crimes and that's not breaking and entering," the technician sighed.

Tap...tap...tap...

"Can you at least give me a positive identification on this fursample?" she asked.

Tap...tap...tap...

The elk held the plastic bag to the light and chuckled, "Of all the officers on the force, you should know what animal this fur came from Officer Hopps."

Tap...tap...thump!

Ben watched as Judy's nose began to wiggle in frustration as she took the bag and looked at the fur closely. "Oh yeah, its red fox," she muttered and her ears began to blush with embarrassment. "I should have known that, sorry."

"I figured you would, if you only just looked closer," the lab tech laughed. "Officer Wilde does have a tendency to leave samples behind, like in the police cruiser, his cubicle, your uniform…"

"Okay! Okay! I get your point," the rabbit huffed. Ben grinned as her ears drooped and reddened a tad more and without even thinking, the rabbit had pulled one ear in front of her eye. "Let's see what this video shows us about the other beak-in, come on partner!"

The plump cheetah gave the elk both a grin and shrug as they watched the rabbit, who was now almost running down the hallway. "Thanks!" he said before following his temporary partner.

He caught up to Judy at her desk and she had slipped the recording disk into her computer. "Oh no," she groaned. "This requires special software to open this file and I don't have it on my PC!"

"Judy, let's go down the tech department and see what they can do?" Ben suggested.

She popped the disk out and followed the cheetah down the hallway, snickering as she saw her partner in the distance with the scouts, who were slowly…very slowly making their way towards the elevator. The fox gave her a concealed desperate look, causing her to giggle.

Once at the tech department, they located the software necessary to open the recording, but much to their surprise it was black and white and also very grainy. "So much for state of the art security," the rabbit laughed. A large bulk that did indeed look like a rhino appeared outside the door and he was, of all things still dressed in what appeared like his pajamas. After hammering on the door, the rhino lowered his head and charged into the door, knocking it off its frame. The alarms went off, but unperturbed the beast lumbered inside and began tearing and throwing everything around, it looked random, without and goal in its destruction. Finally the rhino tired and left out the same way he came in.

"Well that doesn't tell us much," Ben sighed.

"But as hard as he or she hit the door, that rhino must have suffered some injury to the horn area," Judy mused. "This still isn't making too much sense, it's almost like the two crimes were aimed at making sure that these two stores could not open the next day for business. No robbery, no motive!"

"Hey Judy," Officer Johnson called over to her as he entered the room. "While you were donut shopping we got a real crime solved."

"Yeah, I know the bank robbery," the rabbit sighed. "I've already heard."

"Not a bank robbery, but the office manager at Marcey's Department Store," the lion corrected her. "He dumped all the tills into a plastic sack and walked right out of the store. We caught him a few blocks away, but no money. The dude claims he can't remember stealing the money."

"Just like the teller at the bank," Ben replied. "She didn't remember doing it either."

"Weird huh!" the lion shrugged.

Ben looked over at Judy and she was still looking at the security tape. "What do you think?" he asked her.

"About what?" the rabbit replied.

"You weren't listening to us were you?" the cheetah sighed as heard her paw going at it again.

Tap...tap...tap!

* * *

 _Just shoot me!_ Nick mentally screamed to himself as he patiently waited for the last scout to finally arrive. _These kits are like Flash in slow motion, each one is slower than the other._

"So here we have the booking room where we process…." He stopped and sighed half the group was still walking into the room. _How does Clawhauser ever do this job every day without going insane?_ The fox mused. As finally the last sloth scout made it into the room and the tour slowly continued for another two hours.

It was late in the afternoon when the exhausted fox finally said goodbye to the group and watched them slowly amble their way back to the awaiting bus. "You looked wiped out," Catrina laughed from the reception desk.

"It can be exhausting just waiting for them to get somewhere!" the fox moaned as he slowly dragged himself towards the desk.

"Yeah, next time use the sloth cart," the bobcat replied as she leaned back in the chair. "There is a special golf cart to ferry sloths around the building, didn't I tell you about it?"

The fox snarled and his ear's drooped as he looked up at the now laughing bobcat, then his ears caught the deep rumble of laughter coming from down the hallway from the Chief's office.

"Aren't you two the funny ones?" Nick grumbled. "It would have been nice to have known that before all this started."

"Hey, we talked about it the last month's meeting," the bobcat grinned as she hopped off the seat. "Oh wait, is that the meeting you slept through?"

"Har, Har, Har!" Nick snapped as he climbed back into the oversized chair, while giving the other officer a sour look. "I wasn't sleeping, but meditating so that the essence of the Chief's words would sink into my inner self."

"Sure Nick," Catrina laughed. "Let me guess, it's a fox thing that you snore when you meditate? Anyways while you were leading your tour, Fang and Wolf brought in another robber. This one doesn't make much sense, it's a research tech and she stole some chemicals from the university's research center. They caught the beaver a few blocks away from the lab, but she claims not to remember doing it."

"Did they get the drugs back?" Nick asked.

"Nope, just caught her," the bobcat shrugged. "That's weird huh?"

"No more than usual," the fox shrugged as he settled back into the chair. Over on the desk was a delicious looking carrot cake muffin, his mouth began to water at the sight of the treat and his stomach rumbled. "Is this yours?"

"Oh, some raccoon from the bakery down the road brought you that," Catrina replied. "He said he heard that the boss made everyone throw their breakfast away, so he brought all the morning shift new muffins."

"Wow, that's fantastic, I'm starved!" he said as he reached over and pulled off a morsel with his paw and gently placed it into his mouth. The muffin was a culinary masterpiece, as fluffy as a pillow, delectably moist, and filled with plump juicy raisins and grated carrots. He gave a small moan as he chewed and then contently swallowed. With sigh, he reached over to pluck off another bite as he battled with himself not to just pick the whole thing up and chow it down, no this heavenly sent treat was meant to be savored.

His paw pinched off another morsel, lifting it to his trembling jaws and then the phone rang again…of course!


	7. Just One Little Nibble

**Chapter 7: Just One Little Nibble  
**

 **Sorry about the delay, things are picking up on the farm with spring moving into summer and I wanted to get the last few chapters of** _ **The Greatest Zootopian Hero**_ **finished. I also had a bit of a writer's block concerning how this story was going to reach its conclusion. So, we are back with Clawhauser and Judy struggling to solve two seemingly related crimes. Meanwhile, Nick is trying to be the best fox receptionist in the ZPD, which shouldn't be so hard since he's the only fox in the ZPD.**

* * *

The large muscular cape buffalo leaned back at his desk and rubbed the back of his neck with his right hoof, so far this day had been very unusual to say the least. His officers were now up to five cases of odd robberies ranging from a bank's money to a carton of card stock being stolen from a greeting card company. All of the cases had only one apparent underlying connection, the perpetrator who committed the crime apparently did not remember doing so. Standing up, he stretched as he walked over to his office window and peeked through the parted blinds. What he saw brought a small crooked smile to his snout and it was the highpoint of his whole day, watching that snarky fox being knocked down a few pegs.

Chief Bogo picked up his mug from the desk and sipped the now tepid coffee as he watched the red fox fumbling with the phone while trying to eat a muffin at the same time. Then with a deep chuckle, he walked over to the door and threw it open with a bang. "Wilde!" he bellowed out and tried to laugh as the officer jumped in surprise. "Get back to work and quit eating on the job." Everyone knew Benjamin Clawhauser, who usually sat at the reception desk snacked all day long, but it was fun getting his revenge on the fox for all the snide remarks that he made almost daily. Before Nick could respond, the buffalo turned and slammed his door shut.

As he sat down again, he cast a look at the large brown muffin sitting on his desk. It was a gift from the new coffee shop down the street. He had always tried to keep himself fit and usually avoided sweets, but the hay and barley muffin looked too delicious to refuse. Reaching over with his hoof, he pinched off a bit and took a bite. He was surprised at the taste, it was almost addictive as he tore off another piece and then another.

* * *

Sitting at the reception desk, Nick frowned back at Chief Bogo's closed door. "Wilde no eating at the desk!" he whined to himself. "Wilde do this…Wilde do that…Wilde…Wilde…Wilde! It isn't fair because Benny gets to eat at the desk, so why can't I?"

The fox's ears perked up as he heard Officer Bill Grizzoli and another officer approaching the desk. "I don't get it?" the polar bear asked the uniformed warthog. "Why steal a carton of card stock and just leave it on a bench in the park?"

"It's weird," the smaller officer answered. "It's like all the other robberies today, an inside job but this time we caught both the thief and recovered the stolen goods."

"Is she still holding out that she doesn't remember doing it?" Grizzoli asked.

"Not only that, but why would she even do it to start with?" the officer shrugged. "She's the CFO's mother and the greeting card company is family owned. Why steal from yourself and your children?"

"Did her son know that she was the one who took the carton of paper?" Nick asked. "That's embarrassing to turn in your own mom!"

"No they didn't Nick," the warthog replied. "They quickly dropped the charges, but it's still odd isn't it?"

"Maybe she's getting dementia?" the bear offered.

"Or she was trying to get her son's to quit making such corny greeting cards!" Nick added with a smirk on his muzzle. "Have you read how bad some of those cards are? _No one holds a candle to you on your birthday, that's because you're probably already hot from all the candles on your cake_ , now who comes up with saying like that?"

The warthog and polar bear both laughed.

Nick watched as the two officers continued their way out of the building and then looked down at the muffin, his mouth watered and he was tempted to sneak another bite. His ears flattened when he looked over and saw Bogo peeking out his window and then the phone rang…again!

Noticing that the buffalo had turned his back, the fox stuck his tongue out at the larger mammal before trying to answer the phone.

* * *

Judy sat at her desk and impatiently drummed her paw on the wooden top because their investigation was going nowhere fast. "Why break into someplace and not steal something?" she loudly mused.

Ben looked over at her and sat his soft drink down after one last slurp. "Maybe it's a mob protection racket?' he suggested. "You know, pay me or else!"

"No Susan said no one was pressuring her to pay for protection," Judy replied. She picked up the photos of the damage to the donut shop and frowned. "Also, why didn't they hit the grocery store on the corner? What do these two businesses have in common?"

"Coffee…donuts…muffins…." Ben began counting down.

The rabbit's nose twitched and then she suddenly sat up, he ears shot up straight. "Of course, it has to be someone who hates coffee!" she happily said.

"Someoneish," Ben corrected her and scowled slightly when he realized that wasn't a real word. "I mean, more than one mammal, because one is a red fox and the other is a rhino."

The rabbit pulled on her ear again in frustration. "That idea doesn't make sense does it," she meekly replied. She drummed the desk again and let out a sigh, before her ears shot up again. "So they hit two of the places that serve morning foods and coffee, but not the new place yet! Maybe that is their next target?"

"So what does that mean?" Ben asked as he dug around his pocket for some jellybeans.

"That means you and I are going to have a stake out tonight and watch the new place to see if anyone tries to break in!" Judy excitedly answered.

The overweight cheetah just sighed and whined, "All night?"

"Sure partner, if we have to," Judy replied. Her foot was tapping again and then she saw the carrot cake muffin that was sitting on her desk, a gift from the new coffee shop. Although she was tempted to take a bite from it, she instead wrapped it up in a napkin and put it in her desk drawer.

"You're not going to eat that?" Ben asked her in surprise. "I've heard that they are really good."

"No, I'll save it for Nick," she replied with a grin. "That fox has a sweet tooth and he would enjoy it more than I would. Besides, too much sugar makes us rabbits hyper."

"We wouldn't want that," the other office sarcastically replied. "I gave mine to Susan so she could try to figure out what is making her competition's muffins so popular."

"Speaking of sweets, I think you're kind of sweet on Susan," the rabbit mischievously asked the big cat with a grin on her face. Her lavender eyes sparked and her nose twitched. "Come on and spill it Ben."

The cheetah's ears flattened and he loosened his collar before he replied, "I really like her, but…"

"But what?" Judy quickly asked as Ben looked away and never finished his sentence. The rabbit's ears drooped slightly. "She seems like a pretty nice girl, why don't you ask her out on a date or something?"

"It's just that I'm not exactly the most macho looking cat," the flabby officer sighed. "What if she says no?"

Judy frowned as she looked over at the cheetah and she wished that Nick was there, because he seemed to have an answer to everything. "Come on!" she called out as she jumped out of the chair and ran towards the doorway.

Nick gave a genuine grin as he saw Judy heading his way and Ben huffing and puffing behind her. "Sup Carrots?" he called out as she approached the desk. "You two ace detectives crack the case?"

"Nope, but we are going to have a stake out tonight and watch the new place," the rabbit happily answered. "I…we figured that might be their next target."

"Possibly?" the fox mused. "It's worth a try."

"Hey Slick, you're always bragging about your dating technique and how it works with the vixens, would you mind giving Ben some pointers?" she blurted out.

It was a good thing the Nick was a red fox and the other two mammals couldn't see him go flush with embarrassment because contrary to his bragging, his track record with the females of his species was dismal at best. "S…sure Fluff," he slightly stammered out. "How can I help you Benny?"

"I want to ask a girl out on a date, so how should I do it?" the cheetah asked as he shyly pulled on his tie.

Nick smirked when he realized that Ben didn't know anything about dating. "Well you first approach the mammal in question and after starting some small talk, like maybe something about the weather for a few minutes, you compliment her on her looks and then ask her out."

"It's as easy as that?" Ben asked. "But what if she says no?"

The fox didn't let on that he was an expert on hearing that particular answer. "Well then you must have asked the wrong girl," he huffed out.

Judy's ears shot up when he said that in a manner that surprised her and she realized that maybe, just maybe, her foxy friend wasn't the suave ladies male he tried to make her believe. In her eyes he was funny, charming, confident, and sexy. Her ears drooped at that that last thought when she realized that she really did think that Nick was sexy. He was after all her best friend and they spent a lot of time together, both on the job as partners and after work as buddies. Her nose twitched in confusion as her amethyst eyes locked onto his emerald eyes. He looked back at her and when she noticed, she blushed and nervously pulled on her right ear without realizing it.

Nick looked over at Judy and was surprised as he watched her nose start twitching and that she was pulling on her ear, she looked so cute. There was a lump in this throat and he began to panic, then it occurred to him that maybe he had been asking the wrong girls out.

Ben on his part stepped back as he looked back and forth between the fox and the rabbit, he knew that something was going on between those two and he tried not to squeal in happiness. Instead a thought suddenly occurred to him and he asked, "Hey Nick, why don't you join us on the stake out tonight?"

Both Judy and Nick blinked at the same time and turned to look at the cheetah and then back at each other, a grin came to Nick's muzzle. "Sure big guy, someone has to keep this bunny awake!" he chuckled. "You know we foxes are nocturnal after all!"

The heavy set cheetah just grinned back at him.


	8. From a Nibble to a Bite

**Chapter 8: From a Nibble to a Bite**

* * *

The three police officers returned later that night in civilian clothing and Ben couldn't help but chuckle at Nick's tacky green Pawaiian shirt and mismatched tie as all three sat inside the inconspicuous black car. Judy looked aggravated when Nick picked the back seat, leaving her to sit with Ben up front. "Gee Carrots, It's yours and Benny's case," he yawned as he played with his phone. "I'm just here for backup you know, I'm the muscle."

"I wouldn't count on your pencil thin biceps as being muscle," Judy replied in a surly tone, "You know Slick, the saying is whose afraid of the big bad wolf and not the sneaky little fox."

"Oh like you'd know!" the fox hissed back with his ears flat and a sour look on his muzzle. "You used to carry around fox repellent when we first met."

Ben's ears laid flat, there was definitely tension between these two and he was caught in the middle. "Do you two bicker like this all the time?" he asked. Judy's ears blushed at his question and Nick huffed at first and then gave the rabbit a curious look when he noticed she was blushing.

"You'd think these bozos would go home by now, it sure is a busy place isn't it? ?" the fox commented, obviously trying to change the subject. All nightlong raccoons and rats were coming and going. "If anyone is going to hit this place, they are going to find it full."

Despite sitting in a dark car in a darker alleyway, the cheetah could see his two partners casting looks at each other and then quickly turning away. _Something defiantly was going on between these two_ , he mused. Sitting in the driver's seat, Judy was watching Nick in the rearview mirror more than she was watching the store.

Nick scrunched himself down in the backseat and using his phone's light, he began solving the word puzzle that was inside of the muffin that he had just finished. Ben's ears flicked as he heard the fox yawn and the he heard heaving breathing from behind them.

"He said he had to keep me awake!" Judy scoffed. "That lazy fox has fallen asleep."

"Should I wake him up?" the portly cheetah asked her as he twisted to look down at the sleeping fox.

There was a soft snore and then the both heard the dreaming fox mumble, 'Come on Carrots, kiss me…"

The rabbit's ears shot up and she had a panicked look on her face. "Nick wake up!" she urgently hissed.

The fox mumbled something unintelligible and sat up, but he didn't respond and only stared vacantly out of the car's window. "Nick, are you alright?" Ben asked. The fox didn't answer, but instead reached for the door's handle and opened it.

"Slick, what are you doing?" Judy softly whispered. "You'll give us away, get back in here!"

The fox did not hesitate as he climbed from the seat and stumbled out of the car, tightly clutching the muffin wrapper in his paw. He began walking in a disoriented stride down the alleyway away from the other two officers.

"I think something is wrong with Nick!" the cheetah said as he opened the door and got out. Judy quickly joined him by the side of the car.

"It almost looks like he is sleepwalking!" she said in a concerned voice. "He's never done that before?"

"How would you know?" the fat cheetah asked her in a surprise voice. He looked down at the bunny, who was watching the fox with concern and then when she realized what she had said, pulled at her right ear.

She gave the bigger cat and embarrassed look and then she finally answered, "I've fallen asleep over at Nick's place while watching movies, that's all! Let's go get him."

The rabbit sprinted after the fox, but stopped when her ears shot up and she intently listened. "Someone's set off the alarm at the Snarlbucks!" she called back to the cheetah. "You catch Nick and I'll go see what's happening." She shot off in a run down the street.

Ben ambled after Nick as the fox stumbled down the street and then across it, he barely missing stepping on a small mouse in his car, who squeaked his horn in protest and then cursed at the much larger mammal.

"Nick stop!" the cheetah wheezed out to the other officer, who had suddenly stalked down the nearest alleyway into the darkness.

Ben ran after him and finally found the fox picking the lock to the backdoor of Susan's Bakery. The portly cop had arrived just as the door swung open and the fox slipped inside and he frowned because Susan still hadn't hooked the burglary alarm back up. Pushing the door open, he heard a crashing sound and flipped on the light to see the now snarling fox tearing up the place.

"Nick, what are you doing!" demanded the confused cheetah as he ran over and tried to grab the fox's arm. A sick feeling came over him when he realized that the red fox's fur and the blood they found during the investigation must have been Nick's! Ben looked over at the large bandage on the fox's arm and sighed. "Oh Nick…no!"

The fox paused and looked back at him with a snarl and turned to face him with an angry, almost primitive growl.

"Don't Nick!" Ben stammered out as he drew his tranquilizer gun. "You're under arrest …" His paw shook as the vacant eyed fox continued to stalk at him with his sharp fangs barred. The big cat closed his eyes and fired and then opened them to realize that he had completely missed the advancing fox. He fumbled with the gun as he tried to reload another dart into it, before he dropped the weapon and it broke on the floor.

"Grrr!" Nick growled and snarled as he approached with his claws out and Ben did what any animal would have done in such a situation, he ran screaming into the other room.

A metal bowl was knocked to the floor and made a clanging noise as the portly cheetah desperately backed away from the approaching fox. He looked at Nick's flashing sharp white teeth and extended claws, the fox still had that vacant look in his eyes and his movements were somewhat jerky. "Nick, it's me Ben!" he called out in a pleading voice. "You know me from work." Still the snarling fox stalked closer and so the cheetah grabbed the first thing he could find and threw it at him.

SPLAT!

The lemon meringue pie smashed into the fox's face causing him to yip in surprise and momentary stop. Ben looked around for something else he could defend himself with and picked up a rolling pin. "Don't make me do this!" he whined as he raised the stout hard wood object. "I don't want to hurt you!"

There was a slurping sound as the fox's tongue licked his muzzle clean with a satisfying smack. "Ah Benny, why do I have pie all over my face?" Nick asked in a confused voice and after wiping the meringue from his eyes, added. "Also would you mind telling me where I am?"

"You broke into Susan's Bakery and started tearing up the place," the cheetah replied. "You also attacked me and tried to bite me."

The fox looked stunned as he used a towel to wipe himself off. "Why would I do that?" he asked. "I don't remember anything but finishing that muffin and then working on the word game that was printed on the wrapper."

Ben looked down at the floor, his ear's drooped and he pulled nervously at his tail with his paw. "Nick, I'm sorry but I'm going to have to arrest you for breaking and entering."

The fox was about to object, when suddenly the police radio blared out the rabbit's frantic voice. "This is Hopps, I have a 10-31 and need back up…lots of back up…NO!" Then the radio went dead.

Nick grabbed the cat's radio right out of his paw. "Carrots…Judy…come in!" he called out.


	9. Bitten Off More Than I Can Chew

**Chapter 9: Bitten Off More Than I Can Chew**

 **This title is kind of the way I feel, because I think I had bitten off too much by starting this story at the same time I was doing the _Jake Runnel Series of stories_ , along with _The Greatest Zootopian Hero_ , and that this story was allowed to drag on way too long before I finished it! If you like these kinds of stories, let me know by leaving a review. ****  
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"She went to the Snarlbucks," Benjamin Clawhauser yelled to the frantic fox. "The store is just down the street." He didn't stop Nick Wilde as the red fox quickly turned and ran out the door.

It took the overweight cheetah several more minutes than the fox before he made it the coffee shop and he was wheezing and puffing by the time he arrived. The place was in shambles and he heard the sounds of fighting in the store's front room. As he came around the counter, he saw an angry snorting buffalo bull towering over a much smaller growling red fox, who was in turn was standing over an stunned rabbit. In a panic, Ben looked around for something to throw and grabbed the only thing he could reach, which was a large glass coffee pot full of cold brew.

Nick saw him and smirked before standing up straight and doing the last thing anyone ever thought that a fox would ever do. "Bark…Bark…Yowl!" he snapped in a savage voice.

The bull turned his full attention back towards his red furred adversary with a deep snort. Taking advantage of the distraction, Ben jumped up on a large chair and smashed the glass container down hard between the buffalo's horns.

"CLAWHAUSER!"

The startled beast bellowed out the cheetah's name and Ben was stunned when the cape buffalo turned to face him and he realized it was Chief Bogo.

"Sorry chief," was all the big cat could think of saying as his paws came up to his cheeks in surprise.

"DOES ANYONE WANT TO TELL ME WHERE I AM?" the uniformed bull angrily yelled. Then he looked down and saw the fox helping the rabbit back to her feet. "Are you alright Hopps?"

"You broke into the Snarlbuck Chief," Judy answered. "I tried to stop you."

The large cape buffalo looked down at her in confusion. "I don't remember doing that?" he mumbled, more to himself then to the officer.

"Just like all those mammals we arrested today," Nick suddenly said. "I don't remember breaking into Susan's Bakery either. The last thing I remember was working that word game on the muffin's wrapper."

"Me too!" Bogo added as he wiped his stained wet uniform shirt with a towel. "After that everything went blank until Clawhauser hit me with that coffee pot.

"The muffins?" Ben asked. "Could there be something in those muffins? Nick didn't you have that wrapper in your paw earlier tonight?"

"I must have dropped it somewhere outside," the fox shrugged.

"Mine is in my office trash," the cape buffalo added.

"Quick, we need to get back to the station and get that muffin wrapper out of the trash!" Judy yelled as she bolted out the door with Nick right behind her.

"Are they always so enthusiastic?" the large bull asked. Clawhauser looked up at Chief Bogo and shrugged as they followed the two officers out the door.

"Ah chief, don't you think one of us should stay here until back up arrives since the door is broken?" the cat asked.

"It's your case Clawhauser, I'll wait for the other officers to arrive," he grumbled. "Besides, I want to know what is taking them so long!"

The fat cheetah's ears drooped as he made his way out of the building. He was half a block away and could here Bogo's voice as he yelled into the radio about why it was taking so long for the officers to respond.

Down the road, Judy slammed though the police station's front door and bound up the stairs toward the Chief's office. With a shove, she pushed his door open and looked in the large trash can, almost falling in as she climbed up its sides. A pair of brownish russet paws grabbed her legs just in time before she toppled inside. "Whoa Carrots, I don't want anyone asking Buffalo Breath why he threw away a perfectly good bunny," the fox snickered. "Did you find it?"

"No, they emptied the trash already!" she snapped as he helped her down.

"Hey Marty!" Nick yelled over at the bored zebra sitting at the reception desk. "When did they take the trash away?"

"Those new guys were here about half an hour ago," the officer replied with a toothy braying yawn. "I didn't know we had a night cleaning crew?"

"We don't!" Clawhauser wheezed out as he finally arrived.

The rabbit looked up at the fox, who's eyebrow was raised in suspicion. "Let me guess, they were raccoons?" he asked.

"Yeah, they were and the little guy had problems with the chief's garbage basket too," the zebra replied.

"So much for the evidence," Nick sighed. "Now what do we do?"

"You know they gave some of us muffins this morning under the pretense it was a promotional for their new shop," Judy answered with a grin. "I put mine away as a present for a special fox, who enjoys carrot cake."

"Fluff, I love you!" the fox joyfully laughed in his excitement and kissed her between her ears. He didn't obviously realize what he had said as he ran down towards their shared cubicle, leaving the embarrassed and bewildered rabbit behind.

Chief Bogo finally joined them as they impatiently waited for the forensic lab technician, who he had called in to chemically breakdown the muffins contents. Nick was busy working out the answer to the simple word puzzle that was on the wrapper.

"So Wilde what does it say?" the rabbit asked. She stood a little further away than usual from her partner, something Ben quickly noticed.

"It says for you to go to the Snarlbucks and arrest Chief Bogo?" the fox replied. "So your message Chief must have been to break into the store!"

"I woke up both Johnson and Wolford and had them come in to work early, they are watching the muffin shop," the Chief told the officers after they had returned from the locker room where that had changed back into their uniforms. "Those two were both off of work yesterday, so they didn't get any muffins to eat. The lab guy is still running the tests and it could take a few more hours at least."

As they walked back into the lobby, the fox, rabbit, cheetah, and cape buffalo were surprised to be confronted by most of the morning shift officers in different states of dress indicating that they were obviously in bed asleep before being roused to meet at the police station. Ben looked at the other officer's blank stares. "I think that they are under the influence of the drugged muffins," he whispered to Judy.

A raccoon stepped in front of them and was nonchalantly picking at lint on his blue suit jacket, he looked familiar and Nick suddenly recognized him as the janitor who took out the trash that morning with the uneaten muffins. "I know you!" the fox growled. "You're that ring-tailed lawyer wannabe named Phil…"

"Of course you do fox," the raccoon scoffed before the fox could finish his sentence. "After tonight, everyone will know of my genius, but first we need to lock all of you cops away so we can rob this city blind. GET THEM!"

The drugged officers snarled and growled as they advanced towards the portly cheetah and his companions. The cat's eyes widened as he saw the chief fighting with the big rhino McHorn and Judy was bouncing around kick boxing several cops at once. Nick was already pinned down by two timber wolves. Ben frantically looked around for something to fight with as a huge elephant charged at him and he spotted just the weapon on the wall.

With speed he didn't know he still had, the cheetah sprinted over to the fire extinguisher and pulled it off the wall. He squeezed the trigger and fired the foam into the face of the drugged elephant which caused her to stop her attack in confusion. He quickly began spraying the other officers with the white billowy foam and soon the fighting came to a halt as the mammals snapped out of their trances and looked around at each other.

"ARREST THAT RACCOON!" Chief Bogo bellowed.

About half a block away from the police station, Billy Bouncely began to open his newsstand in the early morning darkness when he was surprised when a well dress raccoon frantically sprinted by him closely followed by a dozen or so foam covered mammals in their pajamas. He was going to call the cops, but stopped when he saw the whole group was being chased by a uniformed rabbit and a fox. "Blimey, this sure is one bonkers of a city," the kangaroo sighed as he began restocking his newspapers.

Chief Bogo personally led the raid on the muffin shop and they discovered most of the stolen goods in the back of the store along with several dozen raccoon and rat gang members. By then the lab technician had discovered that the muffins contained a very complex mixture of drugs which when used correctly caused the victim to fall into a zombie-like state and willing to do what they were instructed. Those instructions were delivered on the muffin's wrapper in the form of a simple work puzzle.

Later that morning, after the officers had showered and dressed in their uniforms, Chief Bogo entered the bullpen. He put on his glasses and looked around. "Congratulations to Hopps and Clawhauser for busting that robbery gang," he stated and everyone began to applaud. "Can it!" the bull bellowed. "These are the assignments for today! Officers Grizzoli, Fangmeyer, Delgato are to investigate a shoplifting ring the Rainforest District. Officers McHorn, Rhinowitz, Wolfard, find out who has been spraying graffiti in Sahara Square. Officers Higgins, Snarlov, Trunkaby, your assignment is to investigate fish smuggling in Tundratown . Finally Hopps and Wilde…parking duty! Dismissed!

"Parking duty! " Nick yawned and then he grabbed the rabbit's arm before she could object. "Stop right there Carrots, a nice quiet day of parking duty bets the reception desk any day!"

Out in the lobby, Benjamin Clawhauser grinned as he opened his box of donuts from Susan's Bakery and wondered what he should wear on his first date with the bobcat.

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 **Thank you for reading my story!**


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